[ That's such a human response. Obikawa let's out a soft chuckle, nothing condescending but instead as if something just dawned on him -- he's surrounded by humans and their complicated affairs, forced to be added into the mix.
How dangerous. ]
I'll have you know that I was pretty close to being a dad.
[ It's more like... "humans stole my tail in a fight and used the genes to start experiments" which, considering how normal Hiyori is, is probably the worst alternative. ]
Oh no they were going to be an abomination. So I ate them.
A zombie? [ He belts out a fit of laughter, boisterous despite the atmosphere of the conversation. ] Maybe more like a hamster.
[ A terrible conversation. Not a wrong one, but still terrible -- Obikawa aimed to retrieve the genes being exploited by the humans excited to potentially find a way to destroy his kin. ]
But now you get why the honeymoon was kinda cancelled.
[Hiyori has never had a hamster, but he's pretty sure those are cuter than this guy. This guy is more snakelike!]
That's what people often do on their honeymoons! "I'm going to eat your right up~♪" ... that's what they say, except they mean it as a metaphor! But you were just being metaphorical, too, weren't you?
[ He'd be charmed and slightly offended if he could read minds. ]
No. I'm being one hundred percent honest right now. [ Though his tone sounds a bit indifferent... so maybe he's bullshitting?! ] I ate them so I could recover my genes and then tried retrieving my tail some scientists had stolen from me.
[He sighs a bit, sounding unimpressed. But being paired with a weird fibber is better than being matched with someone who's actually dangerous, at any rate.]
You don't need to fib just to fit in with all the supernatural beings around here. Even as an ordinary janitor, you should be able to attract someone. People here are desperate, after all. And for all you know, they might just find the normalcy refreshing. I know I wish I could get a break from the extraordinary sometimes. To spend a day drinking tea, eating delicious food, and talking about mundane things like hobbies and work schedules.
[To be fair, he already does half that stuff. But he means doing it without having to worry about the House's next "game" or about turning into statues.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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How dangerous. ]
I'll have you know that I was pretty close to being a dad.
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[Dare he ask? If it's as simple as "I forgot to put one on" then he doesn't need to hear it, though. Instead he'll ask about the aftermath!]
Did things fizzle out after that? Or are they near and dear to your heart still?
cw for cannibalism i'm sorry
Oh no they were going to be an abomination. So I ate them.
never apologize
Pardon?
[Well. That was a bad joke. No doubt about it, this person is weird! He thought so at the Halloween party, and he really thinks so now!
... there's no chance he's actually serious, is there?]
Does that mean you're the zombie?
[Thinking back on their party thread...]
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[ A terrible conversation. Not a wrong one, but still terrible -- Obikawa aimed to retrieve the genes being exploited by the humans excited to potentially find a way to destroy his kin. ]
But now you get why the honeymoon was kinda cancelled.
[ "Kinda" -- he still kidnapped her. ]
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[Hiyori has never had a hamster, but he's pretty sure those are cuter than this guy. This guy is more snakelike!]
That's what people often do on their honeymoons! "I'm going to eat your right up~♪" ... that's what they say, except they mean it as a metaphor! But you were just being metaphorical, too, weren't you?
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No. I'm being one hundred percent honest right now. [ Though his tone sounds a bit indifferent... so maybe he's bullshitting?! ] I ate them so I could recover my genes and then tried retrieving my tail some scientists had stolen from me.
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Yep, he's kidding!]
You really are an odd duck.
[He sighs a bit, sounding unimpressed. But being paired with a weird fibber is better than being matched with someone who's actually dangerous, at any rate.]
You don't need to fib just to fit in with all the supernatural beings around here. Even as an ordinary janitor, you should be able to attract someone. People here are desperate, after all. And for all you know, they might just find the normalcy refreshing. I know I wish I could get a break from the extraordinary sometimes. To spend a day drinking tea, eating delicious food, and talking about mundane things like hobbies and work schedules.
[To be fair, he already does half that stuff. But he means doing it without having to worry about the House's next "game" or about turning into statues.]